1. Demanding an ideal and perfect family
Before marriage, a woman imagined wedding that is so beautiful, very romantic life as he read the novel nor he saw in the SOAP-soap opera.
He has a picture which is ideal from a wedding. Very fatigue, cape, financial problems, and a myriad of problems in a family escape from his picture.
He just imagine beautiful and tasty-tasty in a marriage.
Finally, when he had to face all that, he wasn't ready. He could receive less State, this is the case dragged on, he always just demanded her husband that families that they are constructed in accordance with the description of the ideal that always he envisioned since young.
A woman who was about to get married, it will be good if he saw the institution of marriage with an understanding, not in bits and pieces, the romance family and their problems in it.
2. Nusyus (disobedient to husband)
Nusyus is an attitude of disobedience, wayward and disobedient to husband. Women who do nusyus was a woman against her husband, breaking the commandments, do not obey him, and not at the pleasure of the position that Allaah has set for him.
Nusyus has several forms, such as:
When asked her husband refuse to bed, with overtly or in a faint.
Betraying a husband, for example, by establishing relationships with other men.
Enter someone not endeared her husband into the House
Negligent in serving the husband
Redundant and squandering money on that is not a place
Hurting husband with a bad word said, denouncing, and ridiculed
Out of the House without her husband's permission
Spread, and denounced the husband's secrets.
By his wife shalihah will always put the husband obedience above all. Certainly not the obedience in the rebellion to God, because there is no obedience in immoral to Allaah. He will obey any time, in any situation, happy nor difficult, airy nor narrow, love or grief. Obedience a wife like this enormous influence in fostering love and keep the loyalty of the husband.
3. Don't like family husband
Sometimes a wife wanted all the attention and affection the husband just poured out on him. May not be in the least time and attention is paid to the rest. As well as to parents husband. Whereas, on the one hand, the husband had to worship and glorify his parents, especially his mother.
One of its forms is jealous of her mother-in-law. He thinks the mother-in-law as a major competitor in getting the love, attention, and affection husband. Sometimes, the most courageous wife insults and belittles the elderly husband, even he often attempted to seduce the husband to do disobedience to parents. Sometimes a wife deliberately finding fault and weakness of the parents and the family of the husband, or exaggerate a problem, don't even hesitate to malign the family of the husband.
There's also a wife of her husband's demanding to be more like the wife's family, he was trying to keep her husband from her family in many ways.
Marriage is not just uniting two people in a marriage, but also ' marriage between a family '. Both parents are the parents of husband-wife families, the husband is the wife's family, and vice versa. Establish good relationship with the family of the husband is one of family harmony. Your husband will feel calm and happy if his wife was able to reposition itself in the who's husband. This will add the husband's love and compassion.
4. not keeping up appearances
Sometimes, a wife decorated, dress up, and wear beautiful clothes only when he came out of the House, when about to travel, attend an invitation, to the Office, visit the brother or his friends, going to the Mall, or when there are other events outside the home. This State really turned around when he was in front of her husband. He doesn't care about her dirty, simply wearing only cloth: sometimes dirty, shabby, and smelling his hair rumpled, masai, he also simply suffice with the pungent scent of the kitchen.
If the State is constantly maintained by the wife, don't be surprised if the husband is not at home in the House, he prefers to spend his time outside rather than at home. Of course, berhiasnya he was more dedicated to the beauty of the husband shall not have been bestowed by God are given to others, whereas her husband at home is more entitled to it.
5. Less grateful
Not infrequently, a husband is not able to fulfill the wishes of his wife. What is given husband is far from what he expected. He was not satisfied with what is given the husband, even though her husband is already trying to the maximum to meet the needs of the family and his wife's desires.
Wife less don't even have a sense of gratitude to her husband. He is not grateful for the grace of God given to her late husband. He always felt cramped and lacked. The nature of qona'ah and ridho against what God gave him very far away from her.
A wife who is shalihah surely able to understand the limitations of the ability of the husband. He would not burden the husband with something that isn't able to do her husband. He will be grateful and thanks to what has been given husband. He was grateful for the favors which God gave to him, with thankful, God willing, God's favor will increase.
"Unless you are grateful, for sure We will add (favors) to you, and if you deny (my favor), then surely my adzab very poignant."
6. Deny the goodness of husband
"Women form the majority of the population of hell." The case presented the Messenger of Allaah ' Alaihi wa Sallam after the Eclipse prayer when an Eclipse of the Sun.
Magic!! women very glorified in the eyes of Islam, even a mother obtained the right to be respected is three times bigger than dads. The venerable figure, but instead became a majority of the residents of hell. How did this happen?
"Because of their Kufr," replied the Prophet Shallallahu'Alaihi wa Sallam when sabahat asked why it could happen. If they deny God?
Instead, they did not deny God, but they deny the husband and goodness-goodness that has made her husband. If a husband do good of all time, then his wife saw something that was not disenanginya of a husband, then the wife would say that he had not seen the slightest kindness from her husband. Such an explanation of the Messenger of Allaah ' Alaihi wa Sallam in the hadeeth narrated by Al-Bukhaari (5197).
Unfaithful husband and goodness-goodness that has been done the husband!!
This is the cause of the large number of women are in hell. Let us look at ourselves, we each mutual introspection, what and how we have done to our husbands?
If we are free from that case, thank God. That's what we expect. Happy news for you o my sister.
But if not, we are (often) disobeyed husbands, deny kebaikan-kebaikannya, so be careful with what has been assumed by the Messenger of Allaah ' Alaihi wa Sallam. Repent, the only option to avoid pedihnya the torment of hell. As long as the sun rises from the West, or the breath has been there in the esophagus, there is still time to repent. But why must later? Why must wait in death?
Thou shalt not say tomorrow and tomorrow o my sister; go after ajalmu, wouldn't you do not know when you will meet Robb?
"It is not a wife who hurt her husband in the world, but his wife (in the next future): nymph who became a partner of her husband (saying):" you shall not harm ye, would God of wrath, a husband begimu is merely a guest could soon part ways with you towards us. " (HR. At-Tirmidhi, hasan)
O my sister, let's see, what have we done for this, don't ever get bored and stop for introspection, do not get what we do without our realize leads us to hell, its strength is certainly already Thou know.
If at any time, it appears something we don't like from the husband; Let us not deny and forget all the good that has been our husbands do.
"Then take a look at kedudukanmu on the sides. Verily, your husband is a paradise and nerakamu. " (HR. Ahmad)
7. Mengungkit-ungkit goodness
Everyone surely has goodness, a wife was no exception. The problem is if a wife call her husband in front of the kebaikan-kebaikannya in order mengungkit-ungkit of sheer goodness.
"O believers, do not eliminate the reward sedekahmu with menyebut-nyebutnya and hurt (feelings of the recipients)." [Al-Baqarah: 264]
Abu Dzar radhiyallahu'Anhu narrated that the Prophet, Shallallahu'Alaihi wa Sallam said, "there are three groups of human beings where God will not speak and will not be looking at them on the day of resurrection. He did not purify them and for them the adzab poignant. "
Abu Dzar Radi ' anhu said, "the Messenger of Allaah ' alaihi wa sallam say it three times." Then Abu Dzar asked, "who are they who lose it, o Messenger of Allaah?" He said, "the guy who sticks his cloth sheath down the ankles (isbal), people who like mengungkit-ungkit kindness and people who like false swearing when it sells." [Narrated By Muslim]
8. Busy outdoors
His wife sometimes have a lot of bustle outside the home. This preoccupation does no harm, as long as it gets the permission of her husband and not to neglect of duties and responsibilities.
Do not let those activities caused his responsibilities as a wife. Not to mandate an already neglected dipikulnya.
When the husband came home from a living, he found the House of irregularities, the laundry still piled up, the dishes are not ready, the kids have yet to bathing, etc. If the hni took place continuously, it could be that the husband is not at home in the House, he prefers to spend his time outside or in the Office.
9. Jealous blind
Jealousy is the mentality of women, it is an expression of love. Within certain limits, it can be said to be reasonable when a wife feels jealous and harbored suspicion to the husband who is rarely at home. But if this excessive jealousy, exceeds the limit, not fundamental, and just comes from preconceived notions; then jealousy can be transformed into a jealous that deplorable.
Jealous that are prescribed are cemburunya the wife against her husband because of the sin which he did, for example: adultery, reducing his or her rights, menzhaliminya, or over other than wife put on her. If there is a sign that confirms this, then this is jealous that commendable. If it is just mere allegations without facts and evidence, then this is jealous that deplorable.
If the suspicion of his wife's excessive, unfounded on the facts and evidence of the blind, jealous, this is certainly would invite pique and annoyance husband. He will never feel comfortable when there is in the House. In fact, it does not cover the possibility, his annoyance with the way dilampiaskan will do what disangkakan a wife to him.
10. Less maintain the feeling of a husband
Sensitivity of the husband or wife against the feeling of her partner is indispensable for avoiding conflicts, misunderstandings, and ketersinggungan. A wife should always be careful in every speech and deeds so as not to hurt the feelings of a husband, he was able to keep the lisannya from the habit of deriding, said aloud, and criticized the way the cornered. The wife always tried to appear friendly, pleasant face, not surly, and soothing when seen her husband.
So some of the acts that should be avoided by the wife, who has promised to accept her husband before God ALMIGHTY, when present, in order to receive her husband's circumstances for what they are. Hopefully by reading this article we can notice how the above deeds very broken once, by avoiding these deeds, it will give rise to a result that Sakinah, Mawadah family and Warohmah. Can gather in the Paradise of God along with the husband. Being a husband and wife to paradise.
Subhanallah Yaa Robbal'alamiin ...
The Messenger of Allaah ' alaihi wa sallam said: "Shall I tell you guys, you guys have wives who becomes the host i.e. a loving wives, many children, always go back to her husband. Where if her husband was furious, she went to her husband and put his hand on her husband's hand and said: "I could not sleep before you pleasure." (Narrated An-Nasa'i in Isyratun Nisa No. 257. Genealogy of the Al-Ahadits Ash Shahihah, al-Shaykh Al-Albani Vol, no. 287)
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